Monday, May 20, 2013

My Mother

My mother is 96 years old. People call her Ma, or Nanny, or Sadie.

I call her usually on a Sunday and tell her about my week. She is constantly bombarded with people telling about their week, or day, or life. She always and patiently listens no matter how absurd or trivial our stories may be. And she does listen.

I have been practicing Buddhist meditation since 1986 and when I am fortunate to find teachings that resonate with me, I tell my mother about the teaching. At first she was dismissive. The religion was foreign and must have seemed a cult to her at the time. Eventually, she softened to Buddhism and now will engage in sincere discussions about the teachings. She will die a Catholic but she is open to the ideas of others.

I recently incorporated a Buddhist chant in my meditation practice. The chant is considered by many to be the most profound of Buddhist teachings. It is 'Om Mani Padme Hum' and my practice consists of contemplating each syllable's meaning as I chant (pray) the mantra. It requires a lot of concentration. Roughly speaking, each syllable's meaning is as follows; Om – generosity, Ma – ethics, Ni – patience, Pad – persistence, Me - concentration, and Hum – Wisdom.

I called my mother and I told her about the new prayer I was utilizing. We spoke about generosity. As we spoke about it my mother spoke about the tremendous suffering each and every person on earth deals with. She said we all have a cross to bear and we should should consider the other person's cross more than our own.
That is generosity in its most profound sense. And it occurred to me that is how she has as much patience as she does as she listens to my/our stories.
She also spoke about the ripple effect of generosity and how it spreads. I said 'like a pebble dropped in a pond' as I shamelessly plagiarized the great teachers of Tibet. She said “yes”.

We spoke about ethics. My mother said we all know right from wrong. We must stick with what is right no matter what and not give in to self pity. She is a living example of this. It is the way she lives.

We also spoke about patience and persistence and the value of not giving in to anger.

My mother said not a single word about wisdom.

It occurred to me that as long as I can remember my mother spoke about these things. On this occasion, she added, 'all religions say the same thing; put others before yourself'. She added, 'people need to listen'.

After we hung up it occurred to me that I have been practicing Buddhist meditation since 1986 and am just now coming to understand the power of what my mother was saying all these years. She is not only consistent with the core of the Buddhist message, she has been living it all her life. I thought 'I could have started listening to her when I was six, or sixteen'. But I didn't. It took the communist purge of Buddhists from Tibet to force a powerful Rinpoche out, and he came to the West where he skillfully extended himself to reach people like me.

To those that know my mother, you know she is perhaps the most humble person you have ever met. And like a pebble dropped in a pond, this conversation humbled me as I've never been humbled before. I have been chasing wisdom from the farthest reaches of the globe and only today have I learned
to really listen to my mother.

And for that Ma, thank you. I feel ready to take my first step on the path.